All songs and lyrics written and copyrighted by Bekah Kelso

Bang Bang

Don't wanna open my eyes today
Things to do, a conscience to weigh
Was it so bad?
Was it okay?

And now there's not enough coffee to wake me up
I'm up a creek and out of luck
I am surrounded
I better give it up

Cause I broke the rules
That I put in place
There's talk of prison
There is talk of escape
Tell me what have I done
To be above and under the gun
Ch-ch-bang-bang

So listen here Shadow
I'll make you a deal
Disguise as good times
And that will appeal
Far more to me than the thing you are offering now

What's that you say
You don't work that way
You're in my head
Do as I say
I can't handle you today

Cause I broke the rules
That I put in place
There's talk of prison
There is talk of escape
Tell me what have I done
To be above and under the gun
Ch-ch- wait, wait

Maybe I'm to quick to pull the trigger
Maybe I deserve some amnesty
Maybe I should wait to deliver
Such a heavy sentencing

Yea, I broke the rules
That I put in place
But still, I'm standing
And tomorrow is another day
Tell me, what have I done,
Now that I know there
Ain't no, never no, wasn't no gun
Ch-ch-change

Upon Finding Myself

Upon finding myself in the middle of a wasteland
I remembered I don't have to participate in
The waste making
That's what haste is making

Upon finding myself at the bottom of the deep end
I saw suddenly it was stones I was holding
So I let go
Found I was really pretty buoyant after all

Holding me still or holding me down
It's only ever my hands push me around
Setting me free, if my hands are holding me
Let them make something beautiful instead
Instead

Upon finding myself in the middle of a good thing
I talked myself into a good sabotaging
But I turned myself in before I could begin
How 'bout some rectification?
A little illumination.

Maybe by Spring

Maybe by spring I will learn to let go
And maybe by spring I'll be whole
Enlightened with all of my shit so together
Maybe by spring
Maybe by spring

Maybe by spring I will call myself beautiful
As bold as perfume and just as unforgettable
After all this time, I'll be my anti-depressant.
Maybe by spring
Maybe by spring

Oh winter weather's coming on
Whether I like it, whether I don't
Sustain me
Whether I freeze of come out new
Lies inside of a point of view
Unchain me

Maybe by spring I'll feel like picking up the phone
And maybe by spring my skin will feel like home
I'll be a better friend of yours and of my own
Maybe by spring
Maybe by spring

Maybe by spring I'll be a beacon of light
Walk this world and not feel so compelled to fight
And I will not be crushed by what I think you think of me I think
Maybe by spring
Maybe by spring

Upside Down Roses

Upside down roses stare at the floor
Losing their luster not alive anymore
Thats how I feel when you're gone

Once they were growing in an earth of love and now they're just thirsting for the lack there of
Thats how I feel when you're gone
I said thats how I feel when you're gone

But if the force of my heart and its quickening beat
Would move down my body and into my feet
It would carry me fast to the place you are
You'll be my north star

Upside down roses are all that I see
Not much for talking or for anything
Thats how I feel when you're gone

But I smile when I think of the things that you say
Just want to call you so I can say hey, I love you when you're gone
And thats just how I feel when you're gone

But if the force of my heart and its quickening beat
Would move down my body and into my feet
It would carry me fast to the place you are
You'll be my north star

Oh and that's just how I feel when you're gone
Sometimes I can't deal when you're gone.
Turning into roses upside down
Turning into roses upside down

Hands

I feel like a fish out of water but I still got my hands
I’m a strange, I’m a strange, I’m a stranger fish in a strange land
There goes Mr. Fisherman Man, he’s casting again
With his smokes and his smile and a wink in his eye he wants to draw me in

So I float on by
With one hand pushing the water, one touching the sky
Yes I float on by
With one hand pushing the water, one touching the sky

I feel like the only lasting piece to a puzzle long gone
Try to fill, try to fill the remaining grooves
You know they fit me all wrong
There goes Mr. Moneyman Man giving cash for my soul
Well I thank you indeed but I’d rather be me than have all of the rich man’s gold

So I float on by
With one hand pushing the water, one touching the sky
Yes I float on by
With one hand pushing the water, one touching the sky

I feel like the girl in the back of the line for the wrong damn show
I feel like a raindrop in the desert, dinner after dessert, not as sweet as what came before
And everyday gonna make a new list of the things about me that I’m gonna fix
Tomorrow

So I float on by
With one hand pushing the water, one touching the sky
Yes I float on by
With one hand pushing the water, one touching the sky

Just for Today

It’s a difficult lesson but I will learn it anyway
This may cost me everything but I’m willing to pay
The world inside of you has color I’ve never seen
We have nothing but this moment so I turn to you and say

Just for today I’m yours forever
Just close our eyes, there can be no end in sight
Tracing the moment with different shades of you
Just for today

It’s a difficult lesson when I must learn to play the games
I will look away though I know that you’re feeling the same
Your touch makes me more real than I think I’ve ever been
I am calm despite the madness when I hear you say to me

Just for today I’m yours forever
Just close our eyes, there can be no end in sight
Tracing the moment with different shades of you
Just for today

If today was the last day of my life
I would know that I had followed my heart
And I will not apologize to you for my love

Just for today I’m yours forever
Just close our eyes, there can be no end in sight
Tracing the moment with different shades of you
Just for today


Where I Wait for You

Middle of the day I’ve lost my way again
Standing here alone even my shadow is gone it’s true
Light turned grey when one turned back to two
Looking for the place where I can still love you, love you

And in the still small place between night and the morning
When the light is the palest blue
The neighborhood is silent and the air is so sweet
That’s the place where I wait for you
And in the single breath between laughing and crying
When a second feels like a hundred and two and your
Life is over but somehow new
That’s the place I oh that’s the place I
That’s the place I wait for you

Middle of the night I’ve lost the fight for you
Asked you to tell me in your own words we’re through
And a deliberate silence seems to fill the room
Looking for the place where I can still love you love you

And in the still small place between night and the morning
When the light is the palest blue
The neighborhood is silent and the air is so sweet
That’s the place where I wait for you
And in the single breath between laughing and crying
When a second feels like a hundred and two and your
Life is over but somehow new
That’s the place I oh that’s the place I
That’s the place I wait for you

But oh I still look to the sky to see your eyes
That’s one I am not prepared to release just yet
Today I’m lamenting tomorrow I’ll try some more
I swear I’ll love you until ever turns to nevermore

And in the still small place between night and the morning
When the light is the palest blue
The neighborhood is silent and the air is so sweet
That’s the place where I wait for you
And in the single breath between laughing and crying
When a second feels like a hundred and two and your
Life is over but somehow new
That’s the place I oh that’s the place I
That’s the place I wait for you


Silly Song

Why don’t you ever write any silly songs
And I say, I’ve written quite a few
Cause any song where I blamed anyone for how I felt
About the things that I’d been through
It was a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do to me

See if I am the keeper of my own reality
Then nothing you can do can make me anything
Yes, I get to choose to refuse to feel like crap
If you still feel like trying well, your welcome to do that
But it’s a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do to you

Cause silly is to lack in sense
But even cars for elephants
Seem far less silly things to me than how we go against our dreams
It’s dripping foolishness to hold ourselves in bondage
While crying out to be rescued
That’s the silliest thing we could do, oh.

If it’s a universal breeding ground for possibilities
Why are we so fertile for the same damn things
See, we could go weeding in the garden of our thoughts
Or we could just keep cultivating bitterness and such
But that’s a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do to us

Cause silly is to lack in sense
But even cars for elephants
Seem far less silly things to me than how we go against our dreams
It’s dripping foolishness to hold ourselves in bondage
While crying out to be rescued
That’s the silliest thing we could do, oh.

Yes it’s a silly thing to do, a silly thing to do, silly thing to do to us.

Something Good

I see the people try to put it in a box
I see the planet unify to throw the stones
I try and tell myself, this too shall pass
Yet unconvincing to a mind of my own

The water rises in my eyes as smoke it rises in the skies.

So I pretend that the worlds not grey and it’s all okay
Wouldn’t that be something
I know it’s not real but it makes me feel like it could be someday
Wouldn’t that be something kinda good

I see the men in their ambition and their suits
I see the people gather round to hear the plan
Disguised as shepards they lead us on and on
But where are they leading us to?
Why don’t we just look through

The veil that’s dropping on my eyes as bombs are dropping from the sky

So I pretend that the worlds not grey and it’s all okay
Wouldn’t that be something
I know it’s not real but it makes me feel like it could be someday
Wouldn’t that be something kinda good

Girl Around The Way

So there’s a girl who hangs around the way, no names,
but she claims that she’s an artist and conscious of reality.
A down personality with insights to life and eyes that hide no traces of duality
But hold on, let me project for just a second.
Don’t object just yet, the situation needs disection like we’re back in school
but this assignment will be easy.
Believe me, your game’s too obvious to me see,
you’re talkin real but you don’t really have a clue
Don’t need a window cause I already see right thru you
It’s in your eyes you see they’re shifty when you look at me.
Of course that could just be the crystal methamphetamines
You’re telling me about the things that make your life full when
a couple hours ago you were puffin on a light bulb?
And laughing like that shit is silly, saying it’s your muse?
It’s not divine inspiration it’s called drug abuse
so I refuse to belive in your expressions
You’re trying to be more but you’ll always come less than when you’re blessin’
the very thing that drags you down
You thinking you just swimmin in a minute gonna drown
But honestly, you do what you want to do cause I’m not tryin to be the preacher
I’m just sharing what I see in you
I think you’re in for a hard road and God knows,
you’re gonna have it the hard way with hard blows
Sad to me.
Another piece of our humanity trades their soul to escape their own insanity.
You fit this.
You’re a goddamn statistic.
One of the plentys and manys who give into this shit
But let me clarify the places that I’m comin from.
Not runnin from the things I’ve done that I would classify as dumb.
Like, when I was younger did the average drug experiments and
thought it was cool for a while, then I got over it
Okay I still smoke a little.
Let me keep this factual.
But herb is from the earth man C’mon that shit is natural
But seriously, I hope you hear and understand me
cause seriously, you should really think about a plan B.
Eventually, this stuff will kill you or put you in jail.
Or take you down so deep you put you’re body up for sale
to get the money that you need to taste the honey.
Goddamn! Don’t understand how you could this this crap was funny.
But you do don’t you?
Well you’re the one and only laughin.
If it is a joke then baby, you’re at the ass end.
Think. Everybodys got a path. A destiny.
So did Creator give you life so that you could be
geeked outta your mind for serveral days at a time, your soul paying the fine for your massochistic crimes?
I find we were meant to do a little bit more than use our God given talents to become drug whores.
But hey, call me crazy or call me a bitch.
But I promise you, my motives are much purer than this.
In all sincerity I wish you nothing but the best.
Don’t wanna watch as this stuff walks you to your final place of rest.